falkeditupagain | IC contact post/voice mail

Oh...

[Well, that puts a little damper on things.] Are you okay?

Yeah, sure, I'm fine. I just miss her; we were good friends and everything. And I keep thinking about what could have been, I guess. If we had started dating.

Well, Yeah...I'll miss her too. She was a really sweet girl.

[Though, that Vriska had considered dating her was news to him.] You liked her a lot, then?

I think last time I talked to you about it I was trying to get over her, but I think she was considering trying to get together. Maybe. She said we'd never know what would happen unless we tried, so... that kind of means something, right?

Not that it matters now.

Oh...[Yeah, that kind of meant something. But Vriska was right...]

Maybe if she comes back you could try again? But I don't think she'd want you to mourn over what could have been...right?

I'm not mourning. Just... I don't know.

At least I'm pretty used to people leaving!

Well, missing I mean. Its okay to miss people.

And be upset when they're gone, yanno?

Yeah.

[she's silent for a moment or two]

It's not just that, either.

[she walks her fingers up Hanna's arm, resting her hand on his shoulder when she reaches it]

There've been a lot of people from my universe leaving and it kind of freaks me out a little bit. What if I'm next?

Oh...thatd make me pretty uncomfortable too...but you'll be okay. I'm sure it will.

I'm more worried about what would happen to you.

[Welp. He was trying not to mention that.]

You don't have to worry about me Vriska...if something happens, it happens. I'm not going to say it won't tear me up, because it will, but what is there to do to change it?

I mean, all i've got is looking on the brightside, and hope...and that's done me good so far...

[hearing him talk like that is incredibly sad, but it's also...]

You're the bravest person I know. And you'd better not think I'm lying.

[rolling over so her back is to his, she tugs down the back of her shirt, so he can see the tattoo he gave her]

I have your name on me and that means one way or another I'm going to keep looking until I find you. And I know I'm a kid and I'm no Axel, but I'm going to grow up someday, and when I do I'm going to be so strong and smart and dependable for you, and I'm never going to mess anything up. That's a promise.

[after that little speech, she closes her eyes; now she wants to see if she can get Hanna up and walking a little bit, but first she's going to give that a little time to sink into both of them]

Vriska...

[It's that thing with Axelea again that gets him. She's always comparing when it really isn't like that. It isn't a game, and no one is winning, at least not in his opinion.]

You won't ever be Lea. But I like it that way, because you're Vriska, and that's what I like about you. I don't need two Lea's. I need a Lea and a Vriska. So...just stop with that. You're fine just the way you are, promise. You don't have to change at all because the person I'm in love with isn't some 'perfected version of you', it's just you. Got it?

I don't mean it like that! I don't want to become him. I just want to be more like him because he's better at all that stuff than I am. I didn't say it to make you feel bad, I just want to be better at it. But if it makes you feel bad I won't say it anymore, okay?

[she sits up then, but doesn't start prodding at him yet]

... I look up to people sometimes too much. I guess. I see someone who's cool and who has good points and who gets reactions that I like out of other people, and I want to be just like them. I've always tried to be some perfected version of me. I've never been good at just me.

[she shrugs a little, embarrassed; her self-esteem issues aren't as noticeable or as drastic as Hanna's, so they're a lot easier for her to ignore-- and when she's faced with them she isn't always sure what to do with herself]

Edited 2013-04-06 17:14 (UTC)

[That comes as a little shock to him. He knew she could fall easily into a little hero worship, but...huh. He wondered if Lea knew that she looked up to him like that.]

Its okay to try and model yourself after someone...that's called having a good role model, some one you aspire to be like. But after everything is said and done, you're still you, and that's okay. No one can be perfect, but even so, you're perfect at being you, and that's a good thing. Got it?

I've been doing it since I was little. It helped me do a lot of stuff and be the person I needed to be on Alternia, so I guess now I picked Lea because he seems like the kind of person I need to be in relationship stuff? I don't know; I hate this psychoanalogy shit.

But if you can start believing me when I say you're good enough, I can start believing you, too. I can try, anyway.

[she's reminded of something Jo told her a long time ago: to stop trying to be the best troll she could be, and start being the best Vriska she could be]

You promise you think I'm okay?

I've been believing it...little by little. [And its a little strange to admit. That he's gotten so far is, well. Its a big step.]

All you can do is try Vriska, no one can ask anything more of you. But, I promise. You're okay.

[... okay, sitting up can wait for a second; she flops back down so she can hug him, mindful of his tender spots]

I believe you love me, so that'll help, I think.

You know what else I believe?

[He hugs back, though not as tightly as he usually does for obvious reasons.]

Yeah? What else...

I'm really, really lucky. That's what else. And I love you, too.

[she weaves her fingers through his and squeezes, linking him to her]

... You think you should exercise some now?

[That gets him to smile a little more, nodding.] You're the best, you know that?

[But, exercise is probably a thing that should happen, so slowly, he sits up, nodding.] Yup. That'd be a good idea.

You're the best, too. We're the best together.

[she sits up with him, letting go of his hand and looping her arm through his instead]

Okay, now get up and give me fifty jumping jacks.

[her tone shows that she's just joking around, though]

I think fifty might be pushing it a little, but maybe a walk around the city might do?

I can trust you to protect me too.

[lets go again to move around behind him on the bed, putting her arms around his shoulders from behind]

Maybe you should piggy-back me for extra strength practice.

[still being a brat and joking around, yup]

[Hanna actually shifts to stand, grabbing her knees and lifting, but its rather obvious he wouldn't be able to walk around for long.]

Okay, am I done exercising yet?

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[action] aaah pressed enter by accident too soon

[action] Its okay <3

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