falkeditupagain | TLV IC Inbox

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[It seems someone has decided to change his voicemail following graduation. Hes trying so hard to sound professional, business like, but Hanna's usual enthusiasm bleeds through easily.]

You have reached the mailbox of Hanna Cross. If you don't have an appointment, my secretary will follow up with a return message shortly. [a short pause.] meaning me. I'll get back to you, don't worry.

And if this is an emergency what are you doing on the phone? Cardio is your friend. byyyye!

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[Hanna doesnt know him best. He's tried to? But he's 'witchboy', human, and regardless of how much good will he attempts to push the Cat King's way? It doesn't work.

And it shouldnt he supposes.]

If he goes I know where he'll be. He's got more lives ahead of him, but the next one will be better. That's the goal.

He just has to decide thats what he deserves too, and that people are capable of sharing it with him. Thats hard. It doesn't just happen in a day.

BUT

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

WE JUST MET AND THE ONLY OTHER TALKING SENTIENT ANIMAL I'VE MET HAS BEEN PREPOTENTE AND HE'S A GOAT AND HE SAYS WE ARE THE ONLY TWO LEFT IN THE DUNGEON AND HE'S BEEN LEFT ALONE AND I'M HERE ALONE AND

HANNA THIS IS TERRIBLE.

YOU HAVE TO HELP THE CAT KING. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS BUT HERE WE JUST GET ONE LIFE AND WE ARE DEAD.

[...he might not be a car person, but thinking about cats dying alone is really sad. He doesn’t want her to feel alone.]

I'm giving it my all, Princess Donut, believe me.

But we gotta remember that when we're cornered, we wanna lash out, right? Give him some space, sit in a room with him a couple feet apart, get to know him and give him a reason to stay. He needs that.

And if you know anyone who likes you? Likes cats? Maybe introduce them to him too.

He's a huge dick but he needs gentle hands, not loud ones.

PHRASING, HANNA. I AM NOT GOING TO HOLD HIS HUGE DICK IN MY GENTLE PAW.

BUT I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

I DIDNT SAY "HOLD HIS HUGE DICK WITH YOUR GENTLE PAWS"

There is a BIG DIFFERENCE.

YOU IMPLIED IT.

HE SAYS I CAN COME VISIT BUT I GAVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER BECAUSE IF HE REALLY IS LEAVING I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE I MISSED OUT ON SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT.

[God, cats.]

I'll text you tomorrow when he's in his cabin, in the evening, so you can show up fashionably late, hows that?

OKAY.

IT'S TOMORROW NOW HANNA.

HANNA IT'S TOMORROW.

[imagine a paw bapping at the screen. Wake up!]

[...sigh.]

The Cat King is in his room if you'd like to go see him, I just checked.

THANKS.

SHOULD I BRING A GIFT?

DOES HE LIKE HATS?

He likes cream, and fish.

I dont think I've ever seen him accessorize while in cat form...he does like fashion when he looks human though. He just cant be in that form in his cabin.

WAIT WAIT WAIT

HE CAN TURN HUMAN??

He can shape shift, yes. But regardless the form he's still a cat king.

WELL

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. NO SELF-AFFIRMING CAT NEEDS TO BE ANYTHING BUT THEIR PERFECT FORM EXCEPT TO OPEN WET FOOD CANS OR DRIVE TO WHERE THE CANS ARE.

But see, he's more than just a cat.

That form is to assist him in keeping his court safe. Sure he can also open doors, but he could just teleport if he wanted to. I dont think he needs thumbs, he just has them sometime.

OMIGOSH I CAN TELEPORT TOO.

MAYBE IT'S A CAT ROYALTY THING.

ALSO I CAN MAKE HOLES IN THINGS SO THAT'S BETTER THAN HAVING THUMBS.

That's a cool skill.

Do you use magic?

YES I DO. IT COMES WITH MY CLASS OF 'FORMER CHILD ACTOR' WHICH LETS ME SPECIALIZE IN A RANGE OF DIFFERENT SPELLS. MY FAVORITE AND CURRENT ONE IS SOMETHING CALLED 'LEGENDARY DIVA'. IT LETS ME SING!

[...]

Can you cast that on other people?

WHY? DO YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO SING?

I know how to sing!

[...just not amazingly well.]</small But I could probably be better?

WELL NO THEN I CAN'T CAST IT ON PEOPLE BUT I CAN CAST IT ON ME TO MAKE YOU DO WHAT I WANT WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE THE SAME THING?

[Hanna is squinting at his comm because he thinks maybe this cat is a little fibber, but? What ever.]

How would being a legendary Diva result in mind control?

[she rolls her eyes]

HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF A BARD BEFORE? ALL THEY DO IS HYPNOTIZE YOU WITH THEIR MUSIC AND SEXY DANCING.

I mean, I know what a bard is but I thought they like, hyped people up with their music?

Gave you like, inspiration not actual hypnotizing... [Maybe he hadn't played enough D&D in middle school but he swears thats not what a bard does.]

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