falkeditupagain | TLV IC Inbox

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[It seems someone has decided to change his voicemail following graduation. Hes trying so hard to sound professional, business like, but Hanna's usual enthusiasm bleeds through easily.]

You have reached the mailbox of Hanna Cross. If you don't have an appointment, my secretary will follow up with a return message shortly. [a short pause.] meaning me. I'll get back to you, don't worry.

And if this is an emergency what are you doing on the phone? Cardio is your friend. byyyye!

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"Thats okay," he always thought 'I don't know' was harder to say than anything else anyways, and he smiles up at David, uses that cue of touch to gently squeeze his arm.

"Hi," he says back, smile pulling a little wider as he tilts his head, carefully watching David's eyes, trying to see more emotion in them, trying to push that fear back and away.

"You didn't fall over."

Henry finds himself weirdly shy, studied that way, but he doesn't look away. Brow furrows in worry, he has to swallow down nerves, but he stays steady even worrying for the first time what Hanna thinks of him.

"Guess I've gotten more used to turning the lights back on." His tone is quieter somehow. Not that he's ever been loud, but it's clear the gentle formality when everything is shut down comes from him, not programming. Politeness and habit, not obedience and training.

He can see that it's not actually helping and sits back, still keeping the connection of his hand to arm, but loosening his grip.

"Probably like me. You'd think it'd be easy, putting yourself and your needs more forward facing, but that shit's hard." He sounds just the same, never minding that David is quiet, he seems familiar still, like there isn't a huge difference, just there's more of him.

"Dont forget your cocoa, btws."

When nothing happens, when Hanna looks at him and sounds exactly the same, Henry perceptibly relaxes. And then, he even smiles when he picks up the mug.

"Thanks, John Connor." The change is in his voice now, more of that presence Hanna noticed. More of a drawl on the nickname. Henry ducks his head as he says it, grinning unintentionally as he teases his friend. Teases his friend. Henry's eyelids flutter shut and he wipes at his eyes, embarrassed.

"Body seems to think I need to cry about everything, even when it's not something to cry about."

Hanna snorts, dipping his head himself as he finally lets go. He thinks Henry will be okay free standing, and if he isn't, he's still inches away.

"A lot of people cry when they see me. You just had a delayed reaction. And thankfully for different reasons other than the red hair, weird vibes, horror of being close enough for a conversation." He ticks things off on his fingers, "don't bother me none. Though...shit. I dont think i have any kleenex in here..."

The teasing tone is still there, with a thread of earnest-ness woven in now.

"You know, my friend deserves better than to be talked about like that. Been meaning to bring that up."

Hanna raises an eyebrow, "yeah? Well, its a work in progress... kinda just been that way since highschool. Habits are hard things to break."

He his smile is still there bit it dims just a little. "You're not the only one with a problem with it by the way."

He punches Hanna's arm gently. "Don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up, either."

Hanna raises his hands in a defensive gesture, "no, no. Im just making sure you know that i know it's not kosher. Making fun of myself usually breaks the tension. I dunno if it, like...is a reflection of who I think I actually am."

Well...

"Not so much anymore, I mean. Cause I definitely did. My self worth was like a malnourished kitten. It's got its foster home now, it gets fed. Its growing. Just cant expect all that change all at once."

"All right, well. Good." He can accept that. God knows it's taken him this long to progress to the point where he'll show Hanna what he's like with actual feelings. "It deserves taking care of."

He sits on the edge of Hanna's bed, careful to avoid disturbing any of the flowers. "That's a good-- is that one a metaphor?"

One is the comparison one, one is the thing-described-as-another-thing one, and Henry cannot for the life of him recall which is which.

There is a moment where Hanna looks like hes legitimately trying to remember whether thats right or not before he grins at Henry, "dude, you are asking the wrong person. I... I think it is? God."

He hadnt really been paying a lot of attention in highschool. First there was magic and then, well? Everything else.

"Never mind about my self-worth kitten anyways, you were gonna tell me about Saga, yeah?" He shifts some things around so he can sit next to him, leaning back on an elbow.

"How's all that?"

"Right. Yeah."

That sends a fresh thunder of shock through him. Only this time he can feel it, and he has to take a second to breathe.

Hanna's feet kick back and forth, tilting his head as he waits. He is cool with waiting.

"Take your time, I ain't going anywhere."

"Truthfully... I don't even know what I want to say." Which is an odd realization.

Because Hanna gets it. Henry can tell. Hanna gets loss, more than most people and probably more than anyone should. "I just- I needed someone to know. Wanted you to."

"That happens sometimes. I mean, I know i talk a lot but sometimes thats just cause I have to sort through the wrong words before the right ones come out."

He doesn't mind carrying it for Henry, he could, if he wanted him to. "Whats that sam said as they walked through Mordor? 'Share the load'."

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