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[falkeditupagain]

[It seems someone has decided to change his voicemail following graduation. Hes trying so hard to sound professional, business like, but Hanna's usual enthusiasm bleeds through easily.]

You have reached the mailbox of Hanna Cross. If you don't have an appointment, my secretary will follow up with a return message shortly. [a short pause.] meaning me. I'll get back to you, don't worry.

And if this is an emergency what are you doing on the phone? Cardio is your friend. byyyye!

Comments

[falkeditupagain]

[Absently Hanna will restart said pets, gently rubbing at his soft ears while John explains to him what he means. It sure is a concept, one that he doesn't think he could have even considered back home, and yet...

He huffs a soft laugh, weird to think that it was entirely possible here.]

That makes a lot of sense... I had quite a few friends show up, ask me how I was, but I didn't really want to talk about it, a lot of them died too, or were caught in the middle. But it hurt some of them, that I obviously was just trying to deal with it by myself...

[It's a habit that was formed through necessity, and he's hesitant to shake it. If he ever got back home, what would change? He had a small group of maybe friends, people around him that tagged along out of necessity or worry. Did he really want to throw away survival techniques because he was here now, unlearn things just to have to relearn them all over again? He isn't so sure.]

Is there a trick to knowing what you're actually supposed to be learning here? I feel like some things that I can recognize and potentially change? I don't want to get rid of. Feels like...not planning for the future. Which, I'm told I should work on contingencies but I dunno if that's right either.

[He huffs a sigh, rubs at Johns ears a little more before just flopping backwards onto the rug, staring at the cracking plaster on the ceiling.]

[greatoldjohn]

[ John will do, as dogs often do, a little shimmy squirm up to nuzzle against Hanna's shoulder as he lays next to him on the carpet. ]

Most people say that every journey is different and that's true. But I've noticed some things that seem to be the same among people who care a lot.

[ He'll twist his head to nuzzle a little, because he knows even if he keeps his voice gentle, Hanna might not like what he has to say. ]

Think about the things you're keeping: do they actually serve you and make your life better, or are you just afraid of what will happen if you don't keep them? How many things are you doing not because you want to, but because something in you says that you have to or you 'should' or 'that's just how it is'?

Ask yourself who's benefiting from you doing that... because it might be nobody. It might be you trying to 'pay' for things that you can never entirely pay for. Or even things you shouldn't have to pay for.

Think about how much you love and care for people: are you making sure to take care of yourself like someone loves you that much? If not, that might be something that needs to change. And when you come upon things that feel like it's a different way to live your life, a new idea, but it still feels like you? Try it out. I think it's less about planning for the future and more about feeling all the way to your toes that you can make one you like living in just because.

[falkeditupagain]

[Laying on the floor, being gently lectured by a God in the form of a dog, Hanna feels like this is the closest thing he'll ever get to a religious experience. Maybe he should tell Vincent, confess to the father. It's a stupid joke that he keeps to himself as he listens, half distracted himself because each little point John makes, he knows the answer to.

No, yes, quite a few, somebody? Who even knew any more.

Definitely not. Might as well...

He shifts his arm, makes room for John to rest his sweet head on his shoulder and pets at his shoulders, not really long enough to reach much else with his arm bent like that.]

Well that's a lot more than I expected. I told Sheehan I was putting 'project graduate' on hold until I got a permanent assignment cause I didn't want to cheat someone out of their deal, I'd be an easy case.

He's been trying to talk to me about this shit too but...I guess I just don't like talking about myself? I never have, but...If it's gotta be all that and more?

Maybe I should get started. But- It'd be easier, if I wasn't doing it just for myself.

[greatoldjohn]

That's fair.

[ He squirms a little closer to make it easier to pet and he'll shift to try and save his arm and it's circulation. ]

I don't know how much of that will help you, but I didn't want to just give you a bullshit answer. This shit is hard and confusing. Even realizing it is just the beginning. And graduating won't be the end.

But I bet Sheehan can help you. Sheehan helps me all the time.

[ John is his cat. ]

[falkeditupagain]

[Hanna takes in a deep breath and sighs heavily. Running his fingers through his fluff.]

I'm sure he could. I keep bullshitting him and he knows it. I like him, I think he's fun, kind of a brat, but sometimes smart, educated people like that? They make me nervous.

You get used to keeping shit to yourself, so every little thing just feels like a secret and when there isn't anyone around to ask, when someone does it feels too invasive. I can't help but think he just wants something from me and when I give it to him, he'll lose interest. Like the puzzle is finished, time to move on.

It's probably irrational, I don't think he's like that, but it's still there even if I'm sure that's wrong.

[greatoldjohn]

[ The doggo muzzle is going to squirm up and nuzzle against his cheek. ]

If he wanted a puzzle, he'd go find one in a book. But don't worry about rushing. He's patient. He'll wait for you, however long you need to feel okay.

[falkeditupagain]

[The snuffling at his face gets him to laugh, letting his nose press to John's without thinking too much about it in a cute little boop.]

He's going to watch Jaws with me. I told him I couldn't swim cause of my galeophobia, but He's just humoring me I'm sure...I can tell he's patient. Just, hope he doesn't get fed up that I'm just feeding him obvious crap. It kind of just comes out that way sometimes, you know?

[greatoldjohn]

[ He will be booped back! Hanna might feel the warm affection that comes with it as well in whatever magical senses he has. ]

I don't know what galeophobia is [ and he sounds out the word carefully to make sure he gets it right ] but he understands. He does that too sometimes.

You should just try and have a good time. Everything else will happen when it does.

[falkeditupagain]

[Dog John is giving him some much needed seratonin, fluffing his ears and letting his head fall back down to the carpet.]

It's a fear of sharks. It's just some stupid thing I said, like... when I tell people I'm a witch and I'll melt if I get wet. [He had a hunch that Sheehan might. He kind of seemed to remind him of himself in ways the way he tried to gently poke and prod, learn slow. Perhaps that's what it was, he felt like he was being pestered into honesty by himself, just smarter and more tactful?]

I'm sure I will. He's a nice enough dude, kind of gives me dad vibes like you do.

[Though that might just be him reaching, it's just those positive male role model figures had been pretty absent for a while and it's both refreshing and weird to have a few all of a sudden cropping up.]

[greatoldjohn]

...that would be very inconvenient for showering.

[ John's pretty content to just stay here and chat with him. Scritching is nice. And it's obvious Hanna is needed the unwind time.]

'Dad vibes', huh? You're the, hmm... *second* person to say that, I think. The first was my first inmate.

[falkeditupagain]

Yeah... it is kind of a pain in the ass to maintain that one. But usually no one's in the showers at three in the morning, so. It kind of works out?

[Floor time, dog time and hang outs all in one? He's much more relaxed than he'd been in two weeks since everything started. It is much needed.]

Yeah? Are they still kicking around?

[greatoldjohn]

She was sent home. Her name was Natalie.

[ His tail has always been wagging just a little. It flutters a little now at the mention of her. ]

I adopted her before she went home. I hope to visit her sometime. Her girlfriend, Misty, is still here, though.

[falkeditupagain]

See, now it's not just vibes, you are a dad. I knew it.

[He can feel that tail hitting his leg as it swings back and forth.]

You got any parent rolemodels yourself or did you just roll out with the dad friend energy? I think I'd be horrible at it, but maybe not.

[greatoldjohn]

[ Arthur is a dad. And Arthur, despite what he might say to the contrary, is a good dad. Faroe, his daughter, was wonderful and John loves her with the fire of a thousand suns. That said, her existence is something Arthur isn't as forthcoming with as he might be so- ]

I never had a... parent. But I like to think that the comfort and patience that Arthur showed to me through everything played a part in helping that... develop as it seems it did.

[falkeditupagain]

I'd like to think you don't really need one to be a good parent, some people just have that instinct. He helped you along, but I'm sure you had some of the bones of it already there.

How many inmates have you had, anyways?

[greatoldjohn]

I would agree with that.

[ And he shimmies a little to make sure he isn't cutting off circulation for Hanna. That might not be a concern Hanna has, but John won't chance it. ]

I'm on my second. Astarion is my current inmate. But I'll probably be here for one more after that.

[falkeditupagain]

[Hanna doesn't mind so much, rolling onto his side to half flop on John himself, not so much caring about pressing his chest into him with the layers of fur.]

I met him, I don't think he liked me very much, which...fair, but I promised I'd get him some music. I was going to pick out a bunch of stuff, drop it off, see what he liked.

You got any suggestions? He didn't really give me much to go off.

[greatoldjohn]

[ John makes a happy little dog huff noise. Yesssss. Flop on him! ]

Nope, that's the best idea. He's particular but he doesn't always know what he might like.

[falkeditupagain]

[If he wasn't still feeling a little down he might wrestle with him, but flopping is more his speed at the moment, face first in dog fur at his side. It muffles his voice a little, but he's sure John can still hear him.]

I was going to get some classics in there, Queen, The Beatles, Michael Jackson...maybe throw some wild cards in there, some of my own personal favorites...if I don't double up on anything he can at least tell if if I got close to something he'd like.

Maybe for shits and giggles I'll throw in some of that Idol Pop Nana was telling me about. It's kind of fun even if I don't understand a word they're saying.

[greatoldjohn]

Show them to me too! I don't know those names either. And I want to know what you like.

[falkeditupagain]

Yeah? I'll- Here... let me get my laptop.

[Hanna manages to push himself up, crawling across the circle rug to grab his laptop from his bed and pulling it down onto the floor with them, leaning against the bedframe. He pats the spot next to him as he opens up Windows media player. He'd been considering asking Nico for a hard drive, the memory on his laptop starting to get full after all the music he'd been adding onto it from the library, but hadn't quite gotten around to it.]

What are you into, anyways?

[greatoldjohn]

Prog rock and jazz with a sprinkling of other things

...I mostly pick records by how much I like the album art.

[ He will reshuffle to settle Hanna back on top of him properly. ]

[falkeditupagain]

Hmm...I'm not so much a Jazz fan, but nobody can say no to Freddie Mercury. My dad was really into Queen, he liked to collect records and we'd just sit and listen to them all the time when I was done with my homework.

[Hanna scrolls a little, finding a large section of Queen music and presses play on 'Good old-fashioned lover boy'. And, because he'd mentioned it, he pulls up the album art so John can see it.]

[greatoldjohn]

Ooooh.

[ Tail. Is. Wagging. ]

[falkeditupagain]

They made so much good music...I'll see if there is a record in the library I can pull for you.

[He quietly sings along, better at it when he's not belting, butat least this way it's not disruptive. He keeps a gentle rhythm with the hand still petting John and scrolls through his library some more, picking more songs to add to the queue.]