falkeditupagain | RUBY CITY IC CONTACT

Did your stupid ass just back-talk the fucking son-of-batman?!

[Wow Conrad, your nerd is showing.]

Well, maybe? I was just being honest!

First of all, how dare you. Do you even follow DC titles? No one fucking offers commentary on subjects they don't study, Hanna.

Second of all, how dare you!? Are you mentally fucking deficient?

[Does he look like he has the time or money to keep up-to-date on comic books? When he has time off he sits and plays fucking Mario kart on the N64, dude.]

I don't see why it's such a big deal! I mean, it's true! How fucking illegal do you think a kid doing vigilante justice around town even is? Pretty fucking illegal!

Hanna, you know those little dogs that get posted on the internet with their tongues hanging out of their mouths because they clearly have no perception of what could possibly be happening outside their own little world?

They are you. You are them.

[Wow, Conrad. Rude.]

Am not! I was just putting it into perspective! Besides, who lets kids do shit like that anyways? Sure it's cool in comic books, but that's messed up. Like, really messed up.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you hadn't gotten it through your head that comics count as real here!

Well, yeah I have! [That's the point, dude.]

Which makes it even more messed up because that kid has probably almost died like over fifty times. It's kind of making me wonder if Batman is some huge asshole. Who signs their kid up for that?

Someone penned by old white guys with no actual story direction or concept of what readers want..

[...well he's right]

And before you make some shitty comment about 'old white guys', I am twenty eight.

[Okay, he snorted. Don't get even more angry about that. Please. It was funny.]

Okay, okay. Biting my tongue, give me a minute.

[Conrad hesitates-- and then sighs.]

Look. No one thinks it's right to make some kid a child soldier. But you wouldn't like it if I told you how to do your job, would you?

[Why is he your dad suddenly this does not fit him]

Do you-- do you get it?

Well- [He pauses a moment, thinks about it. He's been doing his gig for a while. And the reason he started was because he didn't want something that had been a disaster for him to blow up in other peoples faces too without a chance at getting help. He didn't care about the fee, even if it was cool that he got paid, and sometimes work was slow, but the point was to make sure people were okay. Whether or not he was okay didn't really factor in because that had been decided a long time ago.]

I'm pretty sure you'd like to tell me how to do my job, but yeah.... [Excuse him as he sighs heavily, as if pained to admit.] I get it.

Contrary to popular belief, I came to you because it's your job. Not mine.

You're only slightly more sane than that asshole doctor, but I'm not a paranormal investigator.

Yeah, sorry about that. [Because even if he's smiling, it's an honest apology. He probably will never stop apologizing for doing his job when Conrad is concerned. Though, when you fuck up in paranormal investigating, usually you fuck up bad. Thanks for being a great example, Conrad.]

He'd get really offended if he heard you say that. Like, we're not even comparable on any level and you know it.

Your doctor's still a crackpot. And, fascinatingly, not part of the point.

Yeah, I wasn't denying that. [But darn, you saw right through him.]

I think that kid's really pissed off now though, like what am I even supposed to do with that?

Avoid contact and hope he doesn't decide to kick your ass for it.

[Is he joking

or is he serious]

[He's laughing again, just because this kid is probably the same height and weight despite the thirteen year difference.]

I am going to get the shit beat out of me by an eleven year old.

You could try being an adult and, you know, apologise.

Edited 2014-09-12 04:56 (UTC)

What would I even say sorry for?

I'm sorry I was an ass and pointed out that your comic book life is really messed up because some stupid writer was trying to be dark and edgy?

"I'm sorry I'm an inconsiderate and clearly insensitive piece of shit?"

Seriously, Hanna, what the hell?

[When you say it like that he feels bad.]

Just for the record I didn't mean to.

Yeah. We've been over that.

Still happened. You overstepped your boundaries, so just-- own up to it.

[He's going to put his hands to his face and groan.] Ugh, fine.

i made up a poem in my slep ok here goes

u culd write me a rune
2 bring me the moon
on a big silver spoon
but I'd just as soon
watch you and swoon
as you made prper cranes from morning till noon

_{[Maurice promptly goes back to sleep and retains no memory whatsoever of sending this.]}

[Hanna has never received a love poem before. Or a love letter. Or a valentine. Like a legitimate one, and the ping on his watch he assumes, is just a random message, nothing special. Until he opens it and is greeted with really bad spelling and wow.

His teeth are rotting, like fucking seriously. Sitting on the couch, staring at his watch, red faced.

This needs some grade A shit in response. And like two hours later, this gem pops up in Maurice's inbox....]

Hey you the one with the face
Do you mind if I come and fill your space

_{[There is an even longer delay for Hanna because Maurice doesn't wake up again until dusk. Hanna's....poem....is the first thing he sees. And it sounds like such classic Hanna! CORNY AS FUCK and kind.]}

haha sure nerd
i wish i could print from this thing

I liked the one you did too. It was so cute I could have died.

what?

You sent me one earlier, remember?

> no?

> hang on

_{[There is a delay.]}

OH GOD

[This deserves a call. Just audio though.

Hanna is laughing. Laughing to tears, man.]

_{[Maurice can't properly defend himself in text dammit.]}

HANNA SHUT UP! Delete that!

_{[You bet he's turning into a grape over here jfc Hanna did not need to know he was a failed poet/lyricist.]}

What? No! I am going to write that shit on my wall!

The best mural the world has ever seen. [He's totally not laughing still. Totally.]

_{[There is a long, muffled growling sound that suggests Maurice is covering his face.]}

YEAH well. Ah love you too. Come over here so I can punch you.

Like a love tap or should I be finding a good spot to hide right about now?

_{[He can't stay mad. Physically impossible. As he glances at his watch he guesses Asleep Maurice knew what day it was. Well then! Now he's excited and ALMOST over being embarrassed. So he decides to be the big bad monster.]}

Hide.

You'll never find me.

[And then the feed cuts out. Hide and seek is on, man.]

RUBY CITY IC CONTACT

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[TEXT] Feb 13 mid-day

[TEXT] Author anonymous? CANNOT FIND THEM

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